wait, don’t hesitate


Christmas lion... on the rampage?

It’s easy to act when the situation is urgent. Kick your legs, run, feel the adrenalin pumping as your instincts take over. I’m not an adrenalin junkie, but the occasional dragon (or lion) breathing down my neck would be helpful.

That’s because I always seem to be waiting. I love to dream about possibilities and come up with ideas, so why can’t I follow through? What am I waiting for?

A friend I once knew was brilliant at buying clothes at a used clothing store. She could pick up almost anything and remake it — cutting, sewing, shaping — to be a perfect fit. She didn’t wait for the right size or the right store, she just took what she could find and made it work.

I think my problem is that I’m afraid of falling. I don’t want to start something I can’t finish; I want to know that everything will turn out ok. But if I don’t start something, I’ll never know what would happen, and what could be worse than not knowing how the story ends? I need to stop waiting and start moving, preferably before the lion of lost opportunities starts nipping at my butt.

Photo taken on November 5, 2010

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8 thoughts on “wait, don’t hesitate

  1. I was going to take that shot too. The first time I saw him, I didn’t have the camera — I was just running through, returning a library book. Was meaning to go back, but it didn’t happen. Loved it!

    In my younger years, I could very easily have become an adrenaline junkie … just didn’t have the word for it then. Now I’m just … tired.

    WHEN you wait … hesitate, afraid to take the leap, I guess you have to ask yourself: ‘what is the worst thing that could happen?’

    That question, I’ve often asked myself and most of the times, I’ve ended up doing whatever it was. Like moving here, for example.

    • Thanks for your comment, Rebekah. You’ve reminded me of someone I worked with a number of years ago. His favourite expression was “What’s the worst that can happen”, and I came to believe he was right. If you really look honestly at the worst case scenario, most of the time you realize it wouldn’t be the end of the world, you could survive whatever happened if you needed to. I’d forgotten about that way of looking at things. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. Ouch! That comment certainly hit home. Be cautious, wait, be sure. I guess it’s worked, most of the time, because, here I am, a happy if somewhat “well seasoned” woman. But, I sometimes wonder what I’ve missed by never taking any of those jumps into the unknown.

    • Oh, I do know what you mean, Louise, it’s the road not taken… I remember being fearless as a child, but something changed and never got it back. And I seem to have become more fearful as I’ve become older. It’s going to take some work finding my fearless inner child again…!

  3. I can understand your fear. My husband is very like you in that regard and he and I have some hellacious … discussions … 🙂

    Hmmm – You give me a great idea for a post. Thanks, Gil.

    By the way .. ever watch that TV series called Second Chance?

    • “hellacious… discussions”… Ha, Monica, I’m sure you and Negative Ned have some great, um, discussions!

      We don’t have a TV, so Second Chance isn’t on my cultural radar.

      I used to have a bookmark on my computer, I hadn’t even noticed that it had disappeared. I’ve had to look it up, here it is:

      Come to the edge, she said.
      They said, We might fall.
      Come to the edge, she said.
      It’s too high!
      Come to the edge.
      And they came,
      and she pushed,
      and they flew.

      (this was attributed to Christopher Logue, but I think it’s actually a quote from Guillaume Apollinaire.)
      (oh, and I changed the gender. It’s Mother who pushes us out of the nest, I’m sure.)

  4. Hmm, love your poem. I agree, it would likely be mother. Love that lion, too. What an imaginative Christmas display.

    I’ve found it gets harder and harder to try new things as I get older (and older!). And like Kattsby, I’m just…tired.

    Moving was a big leap, Eyegillian, for both of us.

    • I, too, have been feeling tired. I’m not as quick to run madly off in all directions, that’s for sure! I keep thinking I’ve arrived (whatever that means) only to find out there’s more, another challenge, another leap. And of course I could just say no and decide to sit this one out, but deep inside, I’m afraid I would regret it. I know what it’s like to let opportunity slip by, people I could have talked to or an idea I haven’t followed through with that (in hindsight) would have had been beneficial for me. I don’t like regret. I’d rather look back and be glad I tried something even if I ended up failing.

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