between dreams and waking


madrugada

Sometimes when I’m on the verge of waking, I linger on the edge of sleep, reluctant to relinquish that moment of possibility between dreaming and consciousness. In this moment, I feel anticipation and hope, I sense that something good might happen when the day begins. The closest word I can find to describe it is “madrugada”, a Spanish word meaning dawn or daybreak, or more literally, the hour before sunrise.

On many mornings, when I open my eyes and wake up, this moment vanishes; routine and responsibility rush in, and I push my dreams aside. But if I wake up early, in that hour (or two) before sunrise, I don’t have to rush into the day. I can sit for a moment and think about my day, my dreams, my desires, my disappointments. In the quiet of this madrugada, I can listen to God and be open to my heart. And I find that if I start the morning with stillness, I am better organized, better prepared, and better balanced as I head into my day.

As I look toward the future (now that I’ve passed the long-anticipated 50th birthday milestone), I realize it is this awareness of each day that is becoming most valuable to me. As much as I enjoy getting “stuff”, acquisition is not my goal; neither is career climbing or travel or fame. None of this will ever give me any satisfaction unless I know who I am, unless I can be whole and at peace in that moment between dreams and waking.

Photo taken on November 4, 2009

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4 thoughts on “between dreams and waking

  1. Wonderful photo and a thoughtful reflection.

    As a photographer, you might find an episode of Tapestry that I heard a while ago of interest. It is called Beauty Will Save the World. The podcast is here:

    [audio src="http://podcast.cbc.ca/mp3/tapestry_20101031_40409.mp3" /]

  2. Can’t believe I’ve missed this wonderful post until now. You touched upon two subjects that I’ve thought about myself … just not put them down in writing. Those moments of early morning stillness or serenity are important to me, and perhaps that’s why I like to write in the morning.
    Secondly, possessions have become less and less important to me. I was never obsessed by possessions, but boy, did I like certain stuff. A big change in phase of my life has taken place where my values have changed, big time.
    I still want an iPad, though *ROFL*

    • Yes, early morning is the best time for me to write, too, Rebekah, mostly because I see it as “bonus” time, so I don’t feel rushed or distracted by things to do. I can (and do) write at other times in the day, but more from necessity than inspiration.

      I know what you mean by stuff. That new iPad does look irresistibly cool, doesn’t it? I just picked up a new toy myself, a Kobo, and last night I read a library book on it. Sometimes, it feels like we’re getting closer to a Star Trek world, and I like the thought of that!

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